I have to confess: in an episode titled “Mother Knows Best,” I was realllly hoping for more drama than this episode actually gave us. There is almost nothing quite as Shakespearean than the contested relationship between a mother and her daughter, and no greater battleground than a bridal salon. This is where lifelong perceptions of body image, personality, and control issues go to the mat. I was expecting to see a Greek tragedy.
And it wasn’t the mothers that gave it to us.
This episode introduces us to Dianne, a consultant that has been at Kleinfeld’s for eight years.
Dianne is great! This is officially a pro-Dianne blog. Like most of the consultants (other than Claudia), Dianne is relentlessly good at her job. She knows the stock of 1400+ dresses inside and out, and prides herself on her ability to put her brides in The Dress.
Dianne is paired with our first bride, Melissa. She’s brought her man of honor Fabian, her mother, and a friend that is not named and never speaks. Melissa is having a destination wedding in Vegas and she’s looking for something sexy and eye-catching. In the era before Pinterest, Melissa has brought printouts of a dress that she’s completely fallen in love with, and Dianne puts her in that one first.
Melissa immediately starts to cry, but her mom isn’t won over. Additionally, her dream dress is almost $1,000 over her budget. And so they soldier on, trying on three more dresses that she just doesn’t like.
Dianne decides to talk to Elise and see if they can get the cost of the dress down and close the sale. Elise manages to give her a little bit of a discount so that it’s at the top of Melissa’s budget, but her mom is not impressed with the entire experience. Dianne puts Melissa back in the dress that she originally fell in love with, but even that isn’t enough to persuade her mother.
Melissa’s mom pulls her into the dressing room and starts methodically talking her daughter out of her wedding dress. Here is her argument:
- You’ve only tried on three dresses
- Dianne didn’t find the dress, Melissa found it online
- Dianne is “pressuring them” into purchasing
- Melissa needs to have several more bridal appointments before making up her mind
- Melissa doesn’t know what she wants.
After watching Melissa literally cry in her dress, it’s heartbreaking to watch her mother talk her out of her choice – especially after Dianne and Elise managed to get her dream dress back into her budget. Melissa goes from being completely confident to complete unsure of herself, and the entire entourage leaves without buying a dress.
Christy is here and she’s brought eleven people to her appointment. However, she admits that she really only invited her mom – everyone else invited themselves. Christy goes into a panic after her consultant, Audrey, takes her into the showroom. She hates trying on clothes and she’s extremely picky, and generally feeling extremely overwhelmed by the experience.
Normally this would be the kiss of death for a consultant: an overwhelmed bride plus an enormous entourage is a recipe for indecision and drama. Audrey is not just any consultant, however. She calms Christy down and pulls a Romona Keveza dress for her to try – and it’s a hit.
Christy falls in love! Her family can’t stop telling her how beautiful she looks, and she immediately knows that this is it – she doesn’t have to try on anymore dresses. Mara, co-owner of Kleinfeld’s, comes out and helps find accessories for Christy.
I can’t imagine getting eleven people to agree on a meal, much less a bridal gown – particularly when they were invested enough in this process to invite themselves to Christy’s appointment. Kudos to her family.
Again, we get a shot of her dress (with all the ruched detailing) in this weird room? I still have so many questions about where this is.
Here’s the Informative Graphic:
Hilariously, this misspells Romona Keveza. Shout-out to the TLC editors, who did not get a large enough raise to spell-check bridal gown designers.
Enough of this: I promised Shakespearean level drama, and I am here to deliver.
Enter Leslie, here with her bridal party and her future mother-in-law. One of her friends is a lovely girl named Joanne, who does not speak for this entire episode. You might expect the drama to come from an over-opinionated future mother-in-law, but Hilda barely says a word either.
Instead, two of Leslie’s best friends are fighting a proxy battle for her friendship. Their weapons of choice? Bridal gowns. Reigning over this dispute is Leslie’s consultant, Sarah, who has to try and keep the peace.
In this corner we have Nicole, Leslie’s best friend from college. In the other corner we have Nga, Leslie’s best friend from work. They have opinions and they both think they know Leslie best. Nga does not seem to care about Nicole at all – she’s nothing more than a gnat, a minor annoyance, someone whose opinion does not matter.
Nicole, however, hates Nga with a passion that I was not aware was possible. She is simmering with rage for the back half of this episode. In Nicole’s eyes, Nga has stolen Leslie from her, and she’s jealous that Leslie is seemingly listening to Nga’s opinion over hers.
Leslie seems completely oblivious to this extremely contentious dynamic between her friends. Joanne, perhaps playing the long game, stays out of it completely.
Leslie has already managed to narrow her dress search to these final three dresses, and brought her entourage to help her make a decision. Things seem to be going well when the group agrees that the first dress is out.
Here is where the battle lines are drawn: Nicole is Team Dress 2 and Nga is Team Dress 3. Nga is by far the most opinionated member of the entourage (at least while on camera), and is strongly ushering Leslie towards the more form-fitting dress. This is the fact that Nicole is making while Nga tries to persuade Leslie to pick Dress 3:
Nicole is privately dissenting but publicly saying almost nothing. She’s fuming in her confessionals, with steam practically coming out of her ears. Meanwhile, Hilda and Joanne are quietly sitting in their chairs, watching this all go down.
Joanne looks opinionated here, but believe me when I say that she said nothing at all.
They bring Leslie’s mom into the appointment via webcam, and she shows her mom both dresses. Her mom seems to like Dress 3 more than Dress 2, and Nicole can feel her influence over Leslie slipping away. It’s so, so clear that this insane proxy battle is really over who Leslie likes more, and it’s doubly clear that Nicole feels like she’s been pushed out.
Leslie picks a dress – but which one?? SYTTD flashes forward to her final fitting, where they reveal that she picked….
…. Dress 2! Once again, Nicole’s iron fist has closed.
What I actually think happened is that Leslie liked this dress the most the whole time, but was sick of defending her choice – first to Nga, then to her mom. When she was finally away from the cameras and alone with her thoughts, only then could she think clearly…
Only then could Nicole’s powers take over once again….
Trapping Leslie’s friendship for another hundred years….
Just kidding. Or am I?
Final Score:
- Bride wants to be sexy – +3 points
- Bride has a “bridal moment” – +5 points for Christy, +5 points for Leslie, +5 points for Melissa (even though she didn’t buy the dress – she was sobbing!)
- Shakespearean Drama level discourse – +10 points
- Manager intervention – +5 points
- Entourage of 10+ people – +6 points
Total: 39/100
Bye beautiful! Don’t forget to consistently exert your influence over your closest friends so you don’t lose them to someone more exciting! That’s a healthy way to maintain adult relationships!
