SYTTD: S3, E10 – “The Art of Negotiation”

I wasn’t aware that you could haggle on wedding dresses. Was this a thing that just, everyone knew? That it’s apparently like buying a car?

We get a little store meeting about how shopping in the recession is making it hard on everyone, and consultants need to trust their relationships with their clients. Normally the store meetings do a good job of setting up the ‘theme’ of the episode, but this did not…. teach me anything.

So here’s Melanie. Her deal is that she already picked out a dress, but cancelled it three months ago because she got cold feet. Consultant Keasha grabs Randy for advice, and they both agree that Melanie is probably going to end up falling back in love with her original dress.

Just for kicks, they decide to stick her original dress in the room and hope she doesn’t notice.

Melanie tries on a series of ugly dresses and doesn’t like any of them. Until…

… that’s right, Dress $6 – aka her original dress – is The One™. There’s just one catch. Due to a series of unrelated factors (fabric costs, alterations costs, etc) the price of the dress has increased from $5,000 to $6,300. Melanie’s mom goes full Karen at this news. She is not happy. Keasha and Randy grab Nicole for backup.

Nicole wants to work with the bride and salvage the sale for Keasha, but also doesn’t want to lose any money for the store. Understandable! This problem escalates to Dorothy, who starts crunching numbers to see if they can make this work.

Dorothy agrees to take the price down to $5,250. Melanie’s mom shoots this down and all hope seems lost… when Nicole throws in a free $300 veil. Everyone leaves happy.

Alright everyone, buckle your seatbelts.

Unlimited budget alert!!!! Ahhh if only this appointment were that easy. Fofie is from a big Greek-American family and she is in love with a very specific Pnina Tornai dress. Consultant Audrey – sporting a very new hairstyle – is delighted to pull the dress for her.

Just five episodes ago she was still sporting the blonde pixie cut!

So, Audrey pulls the Pnina for Fofie and she immediately falls in love and starts crying. Mom is crying, dad is crying, Fofie is saying that she feels invincible. Great day for Audrey – 20 minutes of work for a hella commission!

Side bar: this dress is incredibly ugly. It looks like she’s doing Gone with the Wind cosplay after getting trapped at Joann Fabrics (derogatory.)

Audrey pours cold water all over this appointment by telling the family that this dress is $24,500. Turns out “unlimited” is not actually unlimited. Fofie’s family immediately shifts into haggling mode and asks if they can purchase the sample.

Time for a manager intervention.

First, Joan flatly refuses to sell the sample because it’s not up to the standard of the store. She points out the holes in the lace, and other wear and tear on the gown. Fofie’s dad counters by offering to take it for $12,000 as-is. Joan says that is absolutely not happening and goes back to the office to do some calculations.

Joan counters with $15,250 and initially Fofie’s mom tries to keep haggling. Fofie explains that their mom treats every transaction like she’s back in her Greek village. It sounds very exhausting to be in this family. Her mom counters with $13,000 and Kleinfeld’s throws in lace to fix the dress, but Joan holds strong. $15,250 is their best and final offer. (Hilariously, Fofie’s mom tries to bargain Joan down for that price to include tax. Joan’s response: “What am I, the IRS?”)

Randy drops by to say that he doesn’t believe in haggling at all and finds this entire situation ridiculous – he doesn’t go into Gucci and ask for half off of his suit. I agree with Randy! However, it does seem like a $15,250 sale for the store is better than nothing.

Fofie’s dad puts an end to this and agrees to Joan’s price. $15,250 and they’ll take the dress as-is, no fabric required.

Finally, we have a quick alterations bride. She’s pretty boring, so I’m just going to show you her dress and we can all move on with our lives.

I hate these stupid skirts with the pick-ups so much.

Final Score:

• Entourage of 5+ people: +3 points
• Bride has a “bridal moment”: +5 for Fofie, +5 for Melanie
• Bride wants to be a princess: +3 points
• Manager Intervention: +10 points
• Bride’s budget is over $10,000: +10 points
• Dorothy’s calculator cameo: +8 points

Total: 44/100

Bye beautiful! Stop trying to haggle at a couture bridal salon!