SYTTD: S3, E9 – “There’s A First For Everything”

New consultant Carmel has been quietly causing trouble in the background all season, and cracks in her facade are starting to show. It’s giving Claudia all over again – and once you lose Joan’s confidence in you, there’s no going back.

Jessica is having a Wiccan, fairy themed wedding all about “connecting with nature.” She and all of her bridesmaid will be wearing wings, so she’s looking for a dress that will fit with her fairy wings. I am devastated to report that she didn’t bring said wings to this appointment. Jessica tells us that her fiancé is Portuguese, so he is dressing as a Portuguese king. I hope to god Jessica comes back as an alterations bride so we can see footage from this wedding.

We get drama almost immediately into Jessica’s appointment.

Randy and Nicole hear about the Wiccan bride and immediately show up to help, even though Carmel did not ask. Carmel, in a hilariously salty confessional, says, “without sounding vain, it’s rare that I have to go to someone else for an opinion.” Randy counters with, “she’s probably among one of our newer consultants… Carmel likes to work alone most of the time.”

The race is on to find Jessica’s dress.

So, here are Jessica’s dresses. Dress #1 and #2 are Carmel’s choices, and they are ugly, while #3 and #4 are Randy and Nicole’s. The first two are roundly rejected, and when Randy shows up to drop off Dress #3, tensions boil over in the dressing room.

Carmel tells off Randy and Nicole for taking over her appointment in front of the bride. It doesn’t get explicitly nasty, but it is extremely unprofessional.

Joan shows up to say that she is extremely disappointed in Carmel for airing her dirty laundry in front of a client, and that the entire situation was actually pretty unprofessional. Agreed!

Jessica falls in love with Dress #4 (Randy’s Version) and everyone leaves pretty happy, but good god. Bookmark this sentence: Carmel’s days are numbered.

You’d think that Elyssa would be boring after all of that, but oh no. This girl lives for mess. She’s paired with Our Lady of Lipliner Camille, and she has brought 2 friends and her sister. Elyssa has a strict budget but she immediately falls in love with a designer way above her price range and pulls several dresses she cannot afford.

Knowing this is a bad idea, Camille lets her try them on anyways.

While Elyssa is trying on dresses, she reveals that one of her friends at this appointment is not a bridesmaid, but she hasn’t told her yet. Holy shit, can you imagine being this friend? Can you imagine sitting down, excited to watch your friends episode of Say Yes To The Dress and realize she told the entire world that you weren’t a bridesmaid before she told you?

If I were this unnamed blonde, I wouldn’t even go to the wedding! This bitch doesn’t like you!!

I think Elyssa is kind of a mean girl but I do like her taste in dresses. These are all very pretty (and I did notice that Dress #3 was the same dress that our girl Jessica tried on earlier in this episode.) Elyssa falls in love with Dress #4 but predictably doesn’t want to spend that much money, and leaves empty handed (and her friend leaves without a spot in the bridal party.)

Marisa is 23 years old and she is extremely boring. She wants a strapless ballgown with a fitted bodice. Yawn. Consultant Dianne pulls some dresses for her and Marisa is pretty much sold on one – when she spots another dress across the showroom.