Let’s not ignore the elephant in the room here: Season 4, Episode 6 of Say Yes To The Dress has been SCRUBBED FROM THE INTERNET.
Why, you ask?
I found the episode description from TVGuide and I think it speaks for itself, “Michelle Duggar from “18 Kids and Counting” visits the salon with her supersized clan in search of a dress for her vow-renewal ceremony. Meanwhile, a bride who’s already tried on 100 dresses has a list of 40 more she wants to see.”
DARK! Lest we forget that TLC is a hellscape network.
So…. I guess…. we should move on to episode 7?
Original Air Date: 10/9/2009
It’s blowout sale day at Kleinfeld’s and everyone is nervous about new consultant Jessica and how she will handle the stress.
In the meantime, ice queen consultant Dianne is paired with Maria Menino who has brought her mom, sister, future sister-in-law, future mother-in-law, and her 95 year old grandma.
Grandma thinks that all wedding dresses are too extravagant and expensive. Maria, meanwhile, is a massive Kenneth Poole fan and – coincidentally! – there’s a Kenneth Poole trunk show this weekend.
As Dianne lets us know, $4,000 “on the low side with Kenneth Poole.”
Maria falls in love with the first dress she tries on, which costs $6,510. Dianne!! This is a rookie mistake!! Maria is an ACCOUNTANT she isn’t gonna go over budget!
The other two (cheaper) dresses fail to impress Maria and she leaves without buying a dress. She looks great in Dress #1 but good lord Dianne, this was an AVOIDABLE mishap and I am mad to watch my competent ice queen fail like this.
Pamela is a 41 year old Canadian cop who has tried on hundreds of dresses. Bridal salespeople keep putting her in “age appropriate sheath dresses” even though she wants something strapless and beaded for her SUNSET GRAND CANYON WEDDING.
Consultant Sarah looks bemused but game to try whatever Pamela wants.
Dress #1 has the “wow factor” but Pamela correctly points out she looks like a chicken covered in feathers. Pamela’s mom tells her that her belly is too prominent in Dress #2 (holy shit WHAT). Dress #3 turns out to be the perfect one and she starts crying almost immediately. It’s sweet! I like Pamela! Fuck her mom!
Our alterations bride is Kelley Brooks, who is paralyzed from the waist down and uses a wheelchair. She and her mom have a legitimately fascinating conversation about the process of shopping for a wedding dress that works with her wheelchair, such as finding something that looks great while seated.
Kleinfeld’s worked with Kelley to design a custom train that fits on her wheelchair so she can have a full bridal experience. I cried! I’m sorry!
Alrighty let’s cover the blowout sale. As per usual, everyone is stressed out. Brides have been lining up since 6:30 am for the 2pm sale (insane behavior, I am so sorry.) New consultant Jessica is terrified of everyone. We get a brief glimpse of something interesting when a bride is hogging ten dresses and almost gets in a fight….
But instead she buys five dresses and four veils with almost $20,000 in CASH. Dorothy thinks she’s running her own bridal boutique but doesn’t really care.
Final Score:
- Entourage of 5+ people: +3 points
- Bride has a “bridal moment”: +5 for Pamela
- Bride wants to be a princess: +3 points
- Mom body-shames her daughter: +5 points
Total: 16/100
Horrible episode! Bye beautiful! Let’s have FUN next time!
