SYTTD: S3, E2 – “In My Opinion”

I love that Say Yes To The Dress is building an entire episode around people having strong opinions, as though that isn’t something that is in every single episode of this show.

This episode continues the subplot about Nicole adjusting to her new job as Director of Sales, and Ronnie keeps talking about the tension that’s creating with the other consultants. We don’t actually get to see any of that tension, which leads me to believe that everything is probably fine (or the bitchiest consultants are not being filmed – in which case what are we even doing here?)

In fact, the only evidence that there’s Tension™ is when Nicole heads down to alterations and has this very sweet moment with my queen Vera:

I guess we should get to the actual episode. We have two very different brides in the house today:

Erin has driven ten hours from Winston-Salem, North Carolina specifically to Kleinfeld’s for the Kenneth Poole trunk show. She brought her mom and two of her friends – and what a coincidence! The Creative Director for Kenneth Poole is in the house!

You may recognize Austin Scarlett from season one of Project Runway. He is delighted that Erin wants to wear one of his designs. She gives him a few pointers – old Hollywood, glam, Barbie – and he and Debbie go to work pulling dresses for her.

At one point, Keasha and Joan are gossiping about Austin in the office and Joan explains that he has a cult following. We are still in the pre-Instagram era here, but okay.

The first two dresses here are Kenneth Poole, but Erin isn’t really connecting with either of them. Keasha starts to think that another designer might be a bitter fit for what Erin is looking for, and pulls a Pnina Tornai for her to try on. She immediately falls in love and starts to cry.

Everyone’s jaw drops and her family also starts crying. Okay!

Randy describes this look as a “Southern belle Hollywood sex kitten” and I think that’s better than anything I could come up with, so here we are.

Our next bride is on the opposite end of the spectrum, budget-wise.

Susan lost her job a few months before coming to Kleinfeld’s, so staying under-budget is extremely important to her. I think this is the first sign of the 2008 financial crisis on this show, and it is a little heartbreaking to watch. Susan really wants to have a fuller skirt, and a big traditional princess gown. Unfortunately, Debbie knows that’s impossible with her budget.

Susan has brought her mom, two of her sisters, and her two daughters. However, the only important member of the entourage is her sister Melissa, who is a wedding photographer. I’m pretty sure Melissa will die if she doesn’t mention this every five minutes.

At one point, the editors start trolling her by doing this every time she mentions that she is a wedding photographer.

Susan tells us that she and Melissa have very different tastes. As soon as Debbie takes Susan to the dressing room, her family immediately goes rogue and starts pulling dresses.

Debbie goes to find Randy for help with this appointment, since it’s clear that the family is not going to listen to the bride. Randy is also anti-ballgown, however, and really wants to see Susan in something more understated and sophisticated.

Since Randy is a professional, he and Debbie pull the fullest dresses that they can find in Susan’s price range.

None of these are a hit with Susan and her family, since Susan keeps asking for fuller and fuller skirts. Finally – in the last photo – Debbie holds up a full ballgown skirt to Susan to see what that might look like. She completely falls in love, and everyone’s heart is broken that it’s just out of reach.

Also, as predicted Melissa the wedding photographer completely took over this appointment. She made such a fuss that Joan had to come out of her office and ask her, “is this a community decision?”

If Joan spoke to me with this tone, I think I would spontaneously combust from shame.

Finally, we have an alterations bride, but she’s pretty boring so we’ll just do the informative graphic:

And here’s her dress:

Final Score:

• Entourage of 5+ people – +3 points
• Entourage that hates all the dresses – +3 points
• Designer Cameo – +5 points
• Bride has a “bridal moment” – +5 for Erin
• Bride wants to be sexy – +3 points
• Bride wants to be a princess – +3 points
• Bride has a very specific vision and picks something different – +8 points
• Manager Intervention – +5 points
• Bride’s budget is $10K or more – +10 points

Total: 45/100

Bye beautiful! See you next time in our beloved tulle and chiffon hellscape!