I fundamentally don’t understand how so many professional athletes, presumably with access to money and tailors, are completely incapable of wearing clothes that fit. What is it about professional athletes that makes them dress like they accidentally shrunk their pants in the wash? Why have people stopped wearing socks? Why are you, as a professional baseball player, wearing a poly-blend on purpose?
I always enjoy the All Star Game red carpet because it’s a chance to watch these beefy dudes try to be stylish. Baseball players, unlike other sports like basketball, usually don’t roll up to the field dressed to impress. The biggest style choice they make is usually wearing matching tee shirts.
It’s also extremely fascinating to see these men this far outside of their element. Some guys – like Albert Pujols – are much more comfortable in front of the camera. Some, like Ronald Acuña Jr. or Mookie Betts, are legitimately stylish and use the occasion to make a statement. Most of them, however, pick a boring suit that more or less fits and hope we don’t notice.
I didn’t talk about what any of the WAGs are wearing, mostly since they aren’t really public figures, but basically all of them look amazing so commenting on their looks would have been incredibly boring anyways. Just imagine me saying “… and she looks great!” and you basically get the picture.
Players are organized alphabetically by team. Without further ado, enjoy my descent into madness:
Arizona Diamondbacks
Joe Mantiply:
Joe looks so surprised that his photo is being taken, like the photographer jumped out at him from behind a tree. The suit is fine and I’m glad he went with a subtle plaid instead of just a solid gray, but I wish that his shoes and belt were the same color, and perhaps that they were not brown.
Atlanta Braves
Ronald Acuña Jr.:
It’s giving Lil Nas X and I am into it. The bedazzled denim jacket and slim pants are so good? Every member of this family looks cool as hell.
William Contreras (and Willson Contreras of the Chicago Cubs):
Willson (left) does not appear to be wearing a jumpsuit, but his shirt is also not tucked in. I prefer his outfit to William’s, which suffers from bad fit – the jacket is too big and pulling strangely. I thought he was wearing a plain white tee-shirt until I zoomed in and realized it was a collarless button-down. Just wear a tee-shirt! God knows approximately half of the players did. William, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but take more fashion advice from your brother in the future.
Travis d’Arnaud:
I spy a VEST! We have a three-piece suit! Honestly, this is great. I’m not mad about the fit, I love the shoes (and that they coordinate with his tie), and he went for the vest AND pocket square. I am giving this man a pass on not wearing socks since we are only getting an intentional flash of ankle, and not two solid inches of bare skin. I can’t move on without saying that his kids are adorable, and I love his daughter’s princess dress.
Max Fried:
This is a very handsome man, and he is dressed like he’s working front desk at a country club.
Austin Riley:
The kindest thing I can say about this is that I will immediately forget about it. The longer I stare at this pant hem, the angrier I get.
Dansby Swanson:
I…. love this suit? I love how many double-breasted jackets are showing up at this event and it fits him absolutely perfectly. I don’t love the boots with this suit, per say, but I like them independently. Are the Braves a particularly handsome team?
Baltimore Orioles
Jorge Lopez:
Oh my god. His kid and I made the same face upon seeing this monstrosity. This is an affront to tailoring. I….. do not even know where to begin. You gotta scrap the whole suit and start over. I was not previously aware that you could buy an unstructured double-breasted jacket and frankly that tailor should never work again.
The longer I look at this the more questions I have. Why are his pants approximately four inches too long? Is he wearing a short-sleeved button-down shirt? What material is this made out of? Why did he leave his phone in his pants pocket?
Boston Red Sox
Rafael Devers & Xander Bogaerts:
Rafael’s outfit (left) is a travesty. The plaid is too small and the pant color is a very strange choice – you either have to match the tone or go significantly darker. To me this reads like he already had the jacket and pants in his closet and matched them up in the dark.
Xander’s plaid works better (and the pattern matching is sublime) and I respect the pocket square. I’m not sure if the tailoring is good, but there was at least an attempt made. That being said, I do not like either of these suits.
J.D. Martinez:
Hmmm. This is missing something. I like the actual suit and the visual interest with the plaid. I think that the white is too bright, to start – maybe he needs a tie? Let’s keep the jacket and pants and start over on everything else.
Chicago White Sox
Liam Hendriks:
Men: if you can’t find a jacket that fits you properly and you insist on wearing it anyways, literally just unbutton it so it’s not pulling like crazy!! The stress on that poor button!
Tim Anderson:
There is a lot going on here. This is proportionally weird – imagine if we swapped out this jacket for something a little more tailored. Not necessarily a full sports coat – but maybe something like Ronald Acuña or Sandy Alcantara wore. This jacket is too short for Tim Anderson’s height (he’s 6’1″) but I like the pants and shoes. He’s almost there.
Chicago Cubs
Ian Happ:
I actually like this color choice quite a bit. Do I wish he was wearing a different shirt? Yes. Do I wish the shoes were a different color? Also yes. I am even willing to let the pant hem slide because the fit of the rest of his suit is so good.
Cincinnati Reds
Luis Castillo:
I applaud an interesting tie choice (especially since most of these dudes didn’t wear a tie at all) and I wish he was wearing a crisp white shirt so that it would stand out a bit more. Unlike J.D. Martinez, Luis needs a little more contrast to make this fully work.
Cleveland Guardians
Jose Ramirez:
If you insist on wearing a Texas tuxedo on the red carpet, I guess it can at least be Dior.
Andres Gimenez:
Sure!
Emmanuel Clase:
He looks very sharp. This is nitpicking but his sleeves are a hair too short and the pants are slightly baggy for the silhouette he’s going for. For once, the pants are NOT too short – but maybe wear socks if you’re doing a full break at the hem?
Colorado Rockies
CJ Cron:
Every wedding I’ve gone to has ten dudes dressed exactly like this, and they are trying desperately to relive the glory days with their frat brothers. He is being out-dressed by his dad, who looks great.
Detroit Tigers
Gregory Soto:
How many times in one post can I write “good start, but the pants are too short.” I do not need to see this much ankle! Gregory’s kid looks absolutely immaculate and he should give his father some tips. I want to see this style of shoe with a more relaxed jacket – maybe something like what Alex Manoah’s got on.
Miguel Cabrera:
This is so obviously just a suit he had hanging around. He looks like a dad at his kid’s high school graduation in a way that I find very charming. This is also maybe the best example of classical suit tailoring that I’ve seen so far?
Houston Astros
Framber Valdez:
If you are going to insist on getting your suit tailored as tight as possible, this is the best version of that look. It technically fits? I like the deep purple jacket and the coordinating shoes. I understand logically that he is wearing a black tee shirt under the jacket but I keep staring at the wrists, willing a cuff to appear. His accessories are fantastic.
Justin Verlander:
I always forget that Kate Upton is a WAG. Justin’s suit fits well – I’m going out on a limb here and assuming he is using Kate’s tailor – but I hate the color so much, and the fabric is weirdly formal to pair with sneakers and a tee shirt. This reads like he’s trying very hard to look Cool and Stylish™ and you can see the effort. A pocket square and sneakers should not exist in the same look.
Kyle Tucker:
I am going into all MLB clubhouses to teach a seminar on how proportions work. This would look infinitely better and more polished if his shirt was tucked in. He’s 6’4″, is it possible that his jacket is too short? Is he aware that is a solvable problem?
Kansas City Royals
Andrew Benintendi:
This dummy is not vaccinated and his lack of good judgment evidently also extends to his wardrobe. If you told me he got this entire outfit at Walmart I would believe you.
Los Angeles Angels
Shohei Ohtani:
This almost fits and yet so it’s just far enough off that it’s actively driving me insane. Where to begin: the jacket is too tight around the chest and slightly too big on the shoulders. The sleeves are too short. The pants are too tight and too short? Green is my favorite color and yet the tie is making me reconsider a number of life choices. I can’t talk about the shirt collar. It’s giving waiter at a mid-size hotel in Cleveland.
Mike Trout:
How is it possible that this is both extremely boring and ALSO there is too much going on. Why are the pants and jacket two different shades of gray? Is the shirt patterned with polka dots? What’s happening with the white shoes? Is Mike Trout aware that actual colors exist and he can wear them?
Los Angeles Dodgers
Mookie Betts:
Markus Lynn Betts is a man who will never sartorially disappoint me. He showed up in Dodger blue with an immaculate fit: the pants are tailored perfectly (I see that crease line! My tailoring professor would be delighted), the fit of the shirt is lovely – maybe a tiny bit big around the chest, but I will take this over what we normally see, which is the impulse to make everything extremely tight. That collar is sitting perfectly around his. And what can you say, the man loves a hat.
Tony Gonsolin:
WOW. Clayton Kershaw had this suit made for Tony and everyone else needs to call this tailor IMMEDIATELY. The fit is immaculate. The coordination of the suit, the bowtie, and the hat? I love it. The shoes are great. The addition of the embroidered cats paws are perfect. It’s got personality, style, AND it fits. Tony is proving that a well-tailored suit does not have to be boring!
Freddie Freeman:
I mean, it’s a black suit. This looks like it was rented from Men’s Warehouse for his college roommate’s wedding in Katy, Texas. Yeah, I have a thousand fit notes, but I am going to immediately forget this suit exists and move on with my life.
Tyler Anderson:
This is the Platonic Ideal of a red carpet outfit. He looks fine! More men should wear bow ties, in my professional opinion.
Clayton Kershaw:
I was so optimistic about this as I scrolled down: nice sunglasses, great jacket, I wish that was a button-down – OH MY GOD FORMAL JOGGERS.
Trea Turner:
Trea Turner is trying to use his very cute baby to distract me from the visible drawstring at his waist and it is NOT going to work. Very unfortunate, because – up until I saw that – this is a great suit! Interesting color and button choices but still very chill! However, we need to stage an intervention for men who put their phones in their pants pocket.
Miami Marlins
Jazz Chisholm Jr.:
WE HAVE FORMAL SHORTS. Jazz Chisholm is representing Miami and he does not disappoint!!! I am going to BRIEFLY nitpick that the sleeves should be slightly shorter and I think the jacket needs to be longer to make this proportion really work but a MILLION points for trying something this fun.
Sandy Alcantara:
This is the non-bedazzled version of Ronald Acuña Jr. He looks nice! I like that the jacket is still tailored without committing to a full-on sports coat. I wish we didn’t see so much of his wrists, but this is deeply inoffensive and I am ultimately fine with it.
Milwaukee Brewers
Corbin Burnes:
I’m sorry this photo is blurry but that’s what happens when you’re trying to pull this many photos. We have another case of Tight Pants, Too Short. I just feel like if you’re going to wear this color, go all the way and make it a slouchier linen. I am so bored!
Devin Williams:
He is single-handedly saving the style reputation of the Brewers. I LOVE this. What a cool plaid, and it’s a great nod to his team’s colors. The suit is a little tight but in a way that feels very intentional and I am therefore fine with it. He looks so good!
Minnesota Twins
Byron Buxton:
I love this and also he looks like a cruise ship lounge singer. Two things can be true at once. The coordination with his (very adorable) family is great. The fit is mostly great. That suit jacket is SHARP (okay shawl collar!) and I love a man who commits to a pocket square!
Luis Arráez:
Another fun plaid! He looks very nice. The necklace with his jersey number is a great touch.
New York Yankees
Jose Trevino
You simply have to respect someone who commits this hard to an objectively insane brocade. It’s giving curtains at an off-brand Moulin Rouge. However, the suit fits and the shoes are rad. I wish he had incorporated the red somewhere else – maybe a tie or a pocket square? – but this is great.
Gerrit Cole:
I stared at this photo for several minutes trying to determine what is happening at the center back hem of Gerrit’s jacket. Was it hastily repaired with tape? This is both boring and too big. I strongly suspect Gerrit Cole owns one (1) suit and does not bother getting it tailored. This man looks like he’s at a mid-level manager corporate retreat at a La Quinta.
Nestor Cortés Jr.:
This jacket would have worked better with navy or royal blue pants. The black is too harsh and I really wished he didn’t mix a white shirt with a cream jacket. His jacket is a great start but let’s scrap the rest and start over.
Aaron Judge:
Aaron Judge looks overly styled and vaguely uncomfortable. Why does this look like he just bought a yacht and has no idea what to do with it. Every part of this is too small – the jacket in particular is way too short for him. I know Aaron Judge is an enormous dude, but I promise he can find a suit that fits. New York City has tailors in it!
Clay Holmes:
Those lapels make him look like he’s a wedding guest in 1982 and I absolutely mean that as a compliment. He looks cool and he should invest in some socks.
New York Mets
Starling Marte:
I’m going to assume that these are not “formal shorts” and that the pants are more or less fine. The real situation here is the jacket-with-no-shirt, which is an incredibly bold choice. I guess… the jacket fits? His wife looks amazing. No notes.
Jeff McNeil:
This baby is a week old!!! Jeff looks great. Love the jacket, love the pants, hate the logo belt but I will begrudgingly accept it. I love a pocket square, but mostly I am so impressed with these very new parents for looking so put together!
Pete Alonso:
I was not expecting the shoes! This suit is fine. He looks like he’s going to prom.
Edwin Diaz:
I’m guessing that he isn’t, but this angle makes it look like he’s wearing a luxurious caftan and that is the world that I would like to live in.
Oakland Athletics
Paul Blackburn:
This was a real swing for the fences – he looks like he’s in a barbershop quarter. This fabric looks weirdly stiff and crunchy, like it’s a poly-blend? I want better for Paul, who seems like a lovely guy, but I desperately want to forget I ever saw this.
Philadelphia Phillies
Kyle Schwarber:
After staring at this suit I am reasonably sure that it’s secretly navy. And it appears to have a slight brocade pattern (also navy) woven in. It fits very well, he looks nice, the shoes are cool. Schwarber is what we call a Big Beefy Guy and yet he looks sharp here – this is what a well tailored suit can do for you!! Other players take notes!!
Pittsburgh Pirates
David Bednar:
My usual fit notes apply here – I don’t know why athletes want to look like their pants shrunk in the wash – but I am enjoying the flash of lining going on. I feel like the shoes should be white or brown, but not both.
San Diego Padres
Manny Machado:
Hot take, but if you’re going to wear a tee shirt with a suit, take the casual look all the way and wear the jacket unbuttoned!! This is the vibe that I think a lot of other players were shooting for. I love the textured cashmere of the suit itself – very cool, almost slouchy, exceedingly chill.
Joe Musgrove:
Lovely suit, great fit, can someone explain to me why everyone is wearing collarless shirts.
Jake Cronenworth:
This is the face of a man who used a stylist for the first time and isn’t sure how he feels about it (I think he looks very jaunty!)
San Francisco Giants
Joc Pederson:
Well, at least the jacket fits.
Carlos Rodón:
This is fine, but I have questions about the shoes and the potentially rainbow socks. Also, if you want to wear all black, just do it! The jacket looks weirdly out of place.
Seattle Mariners
Ty France:
This outfit is auditioning for a guest spot on The Sopranos. A thousand points for the French flag pin on the lapel.
Julio Rodriguez:
I understand what he was going for here, but I think more structure was needed to make this look work, because he just looks like he’s wearing silk pajamas. Maybe try tucking in the shirt and adding a jacket made with the same material? Hopefully he can try again next year!
St. Louis Cardinals
Albert Pujols:
You can really tell when a player has done a lot of these events. Not only is the suit fitting him well, but you get a sense of his personality and his style without Albert looking overly styled (like Aaron Judge) or shying away from showing any personality at all (like Freddie Freeman).
Miles Mikolas:
This is a Hall of Fame baseball mustache. I love a dark green suit and he looks great in it. The tie is a hair too short (it should go all the way to the belt) and I am pretending that the shoes are not suede, but he looks very sharp and his family is adorable.
Ryan Helsley:
At least there’s an interesting plaid here. I wish he picked a more interesting tie, and he needs his shirt sleeves to be about a 1/2″ longer, but this is a decent effort.
Paul Goldschmidt:
Someone please hem these pants by at least an inch and save this man from himself.
Tampa Bay Rays
Shane McClanahan:
- Stop putting your phone in your front pocket
- I spy a VERY fun lining hiding in this extremely average suit!
Texas Rangers
Martin Perez:
WOW. I have to respect taking such a big swing here. I love the subtle coordination across the family without being outright matchy-matchy. Everyone looks great! Yeah, I have some fit notes on Martin’s suit – mostly that the sleeves are too short, the pants are too short, and he needs a collar wrangler – but mostly I simply have to respect what is going on here. To go this bold with color (not even your teams colors!!!!) and still look great? I am obsessed with this.
Corey Seager:
Corey, I am begging you to unbutton your jacket. If you’re going to wear a tee shirt and be “casual”, please commit to your choices. Also, these pants make no sense with this jacket.
Toronto Blue Jays
Vladimir Guerrero Jr.:
I understand what he’s going for here, but this print is literally the lining of a Dior handbag. I like the silhouette, but not necessarily the execution. He does look like the coolest dude at the party.
Alex Manoah:
Sorry, this jacket is cool as hell and I like it!!! This is what Gregory Soto should have picked for his house slippers! I really enjoy when men make interesting silhouette choices (when they fit) and this is so fun.
Santiago Espinal:
This is such a great suit. No notes.
Alejandro Kirk:
He’s auditioning for the same role as Ty France.
Jordan Romano:
Is his shirt navy? Is he wearing Converse high tops? Why does he look like a stagehand?
Washington Nationals
Juan Soto:
He’s working a double-breasted jacket as best as you can. I’m not mad about this look! I wish you could see his sleeve cuff to break up the dark grey line, but at this point I have fully given up on any of these men wearing a properly tailored suit.
Thank you for joining me on this extremely deranged journey. One day these men will learn how to get dressed. In the meantime, we’ll always have Mookie Betts.
