This episode begs the question: has Ronnie been Me Too’d yet? Every single time he shows up on this show, he manages to be the slimiest person that has ever been on my television – and I watch a lot of reality shows.
Technically, this episode of Say Yes To The Dress once again revolves around Kleinfeld’s quarterly blowout sale. The brides have been lining up outside of the store since at least 9am, for a sale that doesn’t start until 3. Until then, there are regular appointments for the consultants to get through.
Elizabeth is paired with consultant Audrey, and she’s brought her sister Michelle to her appointment. The problem is that Elizabeth has no idea what kind of dress she wants. When Audrey asks her to describe her dream dress, the best she can come up with is that she likes lace and doesn’t like ballgowns. Okay girl.
Here are the dresses that Elizabeth ends up in. She really likes the first one, but her sister is extremely unenthusiastic. The most she can summon up every time Elizabeth asks for her opinion is “I like it.” The more dresses that Elizabeth tries on, the more obvious it is that she’s looking for any kind of enthusiasm from her. She wants her to love it!
But no. This is the face that Michelle is making the entire time.
Elizabeth puts her favorite dress, the first dress, back on. Michelle is still not that enthusiastic, but Elizabeth is having her bridal moment and she knows this is her dress. And she says yes! Good for her!
And here’s the Informative Graphic:
We move on to our next bride… and the first ever Celebrity Cameo on SYTTD! This is a hallmark of the franchise later on, but we’re starting small here in season two.
Gabriella is paired with Debbie, and she’s looking for a gown for her 1950s Hollywood glamour themed wedding. She’s brought her future sister-in-law, and her bridesmaid… Stacy London.
For those of you who don’t know (such as my husband, who got this exact monologue while this episode was on) Stacy London is the star of a different TLC show called What Not To Wear. What Not To Wear was a makeover show that aired from 2003 to 2013 and was hosted by Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. If you were me, raised on a formative television diet of TLC reality shows, Stacy London is a definitive celebrity.
Stacy hilariously takes a detour mid-appointment to give her advice to another bride.
Gabriella has apparently been doing Stacy’s makeup over the years, hence their friendship. She’s brought Stacy along for her fashion expertise, knowing that she’s going to be very honest and opinionated during the appointment.
Luckily, with the powerful duo of Debbie and Stacy, it only takes three tries for Gabriella to find her perfect dress: the third dress. Stacy loves it, Gabriella loves it, everyone starts crying. I’m crying! She looks great! We don’t get an Informative Graphic, but the episode confirms that she bought the dress.
Unfortunately, we have to talk about the blowout sale. I hate talking about the sales. There’s never any brides and it’s simply not that interesting to watch or write about. Unfortunately, I have to devote a fair enough of this post to the blowout sale because Ronnie decided to be the WORST.
The blowout sale starts with Elise and Joan bringing all of the consultants together for a meeting where they go over the sale rules:
- Brides can take up to three dresses into a room at the time
- Up to two brides can be in a single room
- You cannot pull dresses from stock, only the sale floor.
- You cannot pull dresses from stock.
- YOU CANNOT PULL DRESSES FROM STOCK.
Hmmm. I wonder what the central conflict is going to be.
My enemy Ronnie immediately sticks his nose into the appointment of a very nice bride, Becky, who has come from Chicago to buy a dress at Kleinfeld’s. She’s already tried on 30+ dresses at the sale, but hasn’t found anything that she likes, and she’s leaving tomorrow. Becky has a photo of her dream dress… but it’s not part of the sale. I think we can all see where this is going.
Ronnie sends Randy to go pull the dress from stock, even though all of the consultants have been explicitly told not to do that. Randy does it, since Ronnie owns the store and signs his paychecks, even though he knows that Elise is rightfully going to lose her shit. Elise knows that once other brides start hearing that someone bent the rules, they are all going to want special dresses pulled for them – and mixing the sale dresses and the stock dresses will only end badly.
Elise goes to find Dorothy and tell her what’s happening, but there’s nothing they can do. Mara either doesn’t care or isn’t willing to tell Ronnie no. Ronnie, meanwhile, is delighted that Becky has fallen in love with her special stock dress and makes plenty of leery comments about her body before vanishing to his office.
Unfortunately for everyone at Kleinfeld’s not named Ronnie, another bride has spotted the dress on Becky and wants to try it on. This is where Elise and Randy try to put their foot down, but the bride has a meltdown. Poor Randy has to go into Ronnie’s office and ask how to handle the situation, while Elise and Joan get increasingly frustrated with the entire situation.
Ronnie, who thought that all problems in the world disappeared as soon as he goes into his office, is annoyed that Randy is following up about an issue that Ronnie created. He basically tells him to fuck off.
Elise has to track down Ronnie and explain how the situation is his fault. Ronnie, because he is the worst, tells her, “stay calm and keep your face looking good – I own the store and I can do whatever I want.” Elise, to her credit, does not murder him instantly. Ronnie is getting increasingly angry that his managers are pushing back on his terrible decision making and keeps justifying his bad behavior.
Elise and Joan are 100 times more composed than I would be in this situation. The episode ends with Joan and Elise both saying how hard the sale was this year, and how happy they are to be closing soon. Mara gives a confessional where she says that they didn’t sell as much as their sale stock as normal – I assume because so many brides bought normal stock – but the actual dollar amount was great. There is a lot of talk about how much of a family they are at Kleinfeld’s. Here’s some free advice: if a workplace emphasize how much of a family they are, run.
Final Score:
- Manager Intervention – +5 points
- Bride has a “bridal moment” – +5 points for Elizabeth, +5 points for Gabriella
- Ronnie is the WORST – -10 points for making me talk about him
- Celebrity Cameo! – +20 points
- Elise doesn’t commit a justifiable murder – +10 points
Total: 35/100
Bye beautiful! Don’t forget to report creepy bosses and quit toxic work environments
