SYTTD: S1, E3, Pt. 1 – That’s Not My Dress

One of the great joys of Say Yes To The Dress is, in my opinion, watching the extremely capable consultants work with brides that are almost always flailing. I love watching Elise solves problems, Debbie pull the right dress, or Audrey soothe a bride that is prepared to go fully off the rails. Maybe it’s because this is only the third episode of the show, but I don’t think TLC fully understands that dynamic at this point.

Which brings me to Claudia. I simply can’t stand her. Claudia is deeply incompetent and bad at her job, and SYTTD turns that into an entire plot point for this episode.

We first met Claudia back in Episode 2, Part 1, where she’s already making fun of Elise (her boss!) for trying to help her. In this episode, we find out that Claudia has been moved to a fitting room closer to the managers office, so that they can keep an eye on her. Co-owner Mara has called a meeting with Claudia and the bridal manager Joan to discuss the problems with Claudia’s performance.

We discover a couple of things in this meeting – first, that Claudia is delusional. Mara reveals that Claudia has had “maybe one good month, and the rest have been really not acceptable” in the eight months that she has been at Kleinfeld’s. Mara tries to ask her what she thinks her weaknesses are, and Claudia says that she doesn’t have a weakness, and it’s not her fault that brides don’t want to buy dresses from her.

Joan, who is clearly trying not to lose her shit, re-frames the question to Claudia as, “where are you falling short?” Claudia once again says that the brides are the problem, not her, and she can’t be held responsible for her actions. I’m not sure if Claudia is willfully ignorant or if she is just this terrible at doing her job. Mara points out that Claudia had 25 clients last month and only sold 4 dresses, and I truly can’t believe that they haven’t fired her.

This is Claudia’s face for the entire meeting.

Joan finally tells Claudia that her biggest weakness is listening and Claudia tells her that she disagrees. In a confessional, Joan outright says that “Claudia’s opinion of the whole meeting was that she didn’t need to be there, she is a top consultant, and whatever is wrong with her is someone else’s problem.” Claudia asserts that she is a perfect consultant and if she’s not making sales, it’s their fault for not giving her better brides. The meeting ends when Mara says they will regroup later on and “assess Claudia’s progress.”

I have never met Claudia personally, but even I know there will be no progress!

Don’t worry, despite how much of this episode was devoted to Claudia’s complete incompetence, we still has lots of brides.

Our first bride of the episode is Jennifer Brown, who has brought her little brother Andrew to her appointment. Jennifer tells us that she and her brother are very close, and she wanted to come to Kleinfeld’s sample sale so she could find a dress in her budget. Since the sale happens to be while both of her parents are on a cruise, Andrew is the only person who comes with her.

Luckily, Jennifer is paired with one of my all-time favorite SYTTD consultants: Debbie.

Debbie had already been at Kleinfeld’s for 15 years when this episode came out in 2007. She still works there as I’m writing this in 2021, meaning that she has been at Kleinfeld’s for almost thirty years. Debbie is an example of what I discussed in the intro, and what I think is a pivotal part of this show: an extremely competent consultant skilled at pulling dresses, handling brides, and navigating family dynamics.

All of that is on full display in this appointment. With only an hour to work with, Jennifer falls in love with the second dress that Debbie pulls for her: a a romantic, lacy A-line gown.

Our second bride of the episode of Melissa Lavin, who is also shopping the sample sale for an affordable dress that she loves. Melissa is paired with Keasha, another great consultant at Kleinfeld’s.

Like Jennifer, Melissa has a low-key and drama-free appointment. She’s looking for something crisp that she can dance in, and she ends up falling in love with the very first gown that she tries on.

The real drama of the episode is the third bride, Caryn Altneu. Caryn already bought a dress six months ago, and she’s back at the salon for her first fitting. When we’re first introduced to Caryn, she’s already into a full-fledged meltdown. She insists that the dress in the room isn’t hers and that they ordered the wrong dress, and refuses to listen to Nitsa, the Alterations Manager.

The crux of Caryn’s argument that she has the wrong dress is that the trim is wrong and that the back is too low. Nitsa reminds her that raising the back of the dress is something that they can do in alterations, but Caryn refuses to listen to her. She keeps insisting that the trim on the dress is wrong, and tries telling Nitsa that she was wearing two dresses in the fitting room – maybe they ordered the wrong one?

Nitsa is not having this. I will free admit that I am going to biased towards the seamstresses. Nitsa accurately points out that the bride ordered her dress six months ago, on a day where she probably tried on upwards of twenty dresses, and it’s very likely that she is misremembering – not that the salon made a mistake. But Caryn’s meltdown forces her to escalate to Elise.

First, they find the dress in their system, and print out photos of the sample to show Caryn. I think that Nitsa was hoping Caryn would admit she was wrong, but Caryn is already insisting that they ordered the wrong dress. Predictably, Caryn tells her that she printed out photos of the wrong dress too, and they aren’t listening to her at all. Also, Caryn is too far into a tantrum – which is happening in front of her parents and siblings – to admit that she’s wrong now.

They try to pull the sample she would have tried on from the stock room, but discover it was shipped to Virginia. Elise pulls another dress that she thinks might be the one that Caryn is remembering, but Caryn continues to insist that they ordered the wrong dress. Listen, I get it! I would also to continue to insist that I was right! Again, as a seamstress, I’m very used to people misremembering samples and not fully understanding how alterations can change a dress! Elise and Nitsa’s approach here was probably not the right one, but you can see them getting visibly frustrated with Caryn’s antics.

Elise finally changes tactics, and starts asking Caryn what exactly she doesn’t like about her dress. They show Caryn how the fit will improve after alterations, and zero in on her fixation with the trim, which she insists “didn’t have the pointy bits” when she tried it on.

The trim is fine! The real problem with the dress is how tragically mid-aughts it is, but I can’t blame Caryn for getting married in 2007. Caryn, still refusing to admit that she was wrong, says she “hopes that the dress I end up wearing will be beautiful.”

They do show photos from her wedding and she is, in fact, wearing the dress. Offending trim and all.

Final Score:

• Manager intervention – +5 points
• Claudia is bad at her job – -3 points
• Vera saves the day – +8 points
• Bride has a “bridal moment” +5 points for Melissa, +5 points for Jennifer

Total Score: 20/100

Be nice to your seamstresses, y’all. Bye beautiful!