Original Air Date: 07/24/2009
Ahhhhh, 2009. When we all though that flat-ironing our hair and outlining our eyes in black eyeliner was serving face. When babydoll tops and knee-high boots were king, and we were all having discourse about whether or not leggings are pants.
We have grown so much as a people since then. Some things change, some things – like Camille’s entire aesthetic – stay the same.
Christy is working with consultant Sarah and, as per usual, she has no idea what she wants. Her criteria is, “I don’t know what I want, and that’s why I’m here.” Fair enough. We do learn later that she does not like lace or tulle.
Christy’s big problem here is that she looks amazing in literally everything and therefore can’t decide what dress she actually loves.
One day “trumpet” dresses will not be in style and I long for that day. All three of these dresses made her cry, which makes Sarah’s job extremely hard. How are you supposed to narrow it down!
Christy realizes that she’s overwhelmed and leaves without buying a dress – but unlike 99% of brides that say that, she actually comes back!
Randy decides to pull a dress with “everything,” since Christy has zero idea what she wants: lace, tulle, sparkle, a flower… this has got it all.
Once again, Christy starts to cry… but this time she realizes that it’s her dress. Christy’s mom is crying, her sister is crying, her friend is crying. Everyone in Christy’s entourage seems extremely normal and like they all have healthy relationships with each other. How did she end up on this show.
Jennifer is a self-proclaimed tomboy who never, ever, ever wears dresses. Obviously, she wants to wear an enormous princess ballgown at her wedding. She’s brought her mom, her sister Heidi, her twin brother Jason, and an unnamed woman. Mysterious!
Jason tells us that they always bought their clothes together as kids, and no one knows Jennifer’s taste like he does.
Jason picked Dress #2 if you want to know how this statement ends up.
Jennifer likes Dress #1 quite a bit, but her sister Heidi tells her that she looks muted. Jennifer immediately shoots down Dress #2 (Jason’s Version) because, “it looks like a comforter.”
Dress #3 however is the perfect dress for Jennifer: She starts to cry, her mom loves it, even her twin approves. For my taste, it’s very dated. That bodice is straight out of 2009 (appropriately so.)
Finally, we have our last bride.
Susan actually already has a wedding dress, which she bought at Kleinfeld’s sample sale and no longer likes. When she originally picked the ballgown out, Susan hadn’t chosen a venue yet. Now that she’s getting married at a vineyard in Napa, the dress feels too formal.
Listen, I understand the allure of a great deal, but this is an insane way to plan a wedding. Susan also tells us that she’s an architecture student, and therefore she wants something modern and streamlined. Okay!
Luckily, Our Lady of Lipliner Camille is here to save the day.
Dress #1 here is Susan’s original dress. Dress #2 is the first pick from Camille, who describes it as couture. However, Camille doesn’t like the dress on Susan – she thinks its designed for a much taller bride. But Susan won’t be dissuaded. She immediately loves it, and Camille knows not to mess with the specific alchemy between bride and dress when it appears.
The dress – which is also a nonreturnable sample – needs extensive alterations. Camille assures her that Kleinfeld’s alterations department can handle whatever they throw at it.
Now, listen. I’m sure that’s true. But good lord.
Susan comes back for her alterations and the dress fits beautifully. We love a happy ending.
Final Score:
- Bride has a “bridal moment”: +5 for Christy, +5 for Jennifer, +5 for Susan
- Bride wants to be a princess: +3 points
- Manager Intervention: +5 points
Total: 23/100
